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body, pleasure & sexuality

a space to uncover your sensual self

Sexfluent CANFAR •

Why Do I Have Better Sex With People I Don't Like? | Sexfluent

Surprisingly, this question comes up quite a bit for folks who are on a journey of exploring their sexuality.When we start to get curious about our past sexual experiences, we might start to notice patterns which can make us stop and question why we might be drawn to certain types of partners or certain types of sex. Of course, this largely has to do with how we experience sexual attraction and arousal. But when it comes to certain relationship dynamics, it can feel extremely confusing to notice...
Archer Magazine •

Solo sex in relationships: I am my primary partner

Whenever I’ve found myself in relationships, my solo sex life has always taken a drastic hit.
I would get so excited and wrapped up in my developing relationship(s) that all of my sexual energy and consideration would go towards another person. Essentially, my sexuality would become about them, their desires, their libido – how I could satisfy their needs.
I have a pretty high libido. I’m quite open-minded about trying new things or incorporating my partners’ desires, so I never thought of it as...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Context For Your Sensual Self

Context is one of the main topics that comes up in sex and relationship therapy, but what the heck does it mean and how to we use it to support our sex lives, and our desire, both solo and within our relationships?Context is a concept largely attributed to the work of sex educator and author, Emily Nagoski, which refers to the belief that how we show up to sex, and the environment in which we show up to sex, largely impacts our desire for, and enjoyment of, the sex we’re having, where and when w...
Good Vibes Clinic •

The Power Of Self-Seduction: The Cycle of Disconnection and How to Reclaim Your Pleasure — Good Vibes Clinic

When we think of our sexuality, we often think of it in relation to others.We think of how attractive we might appear to others, the people we might be attracted to, the ways we can seduce, or pleasure, or service, or provide for, other people, how we are seen and perceived by the world around us. Our understanding of, and experience of, our sexuality then, becomes largely contingent on the feedback we receive from the outside world; our sexual self and worth becoming rooted in bodies and experi...
Bonjibon •

What’s (Not) Up: Why You Might Be Struggling With Erections

One of the most common things people with penises come to sex therapy for is difficulty gaining and/or maintaining erections. 
Our first response to this is often to think there’s something on a physical or hormonal level that’s causing us to struggle with getting erections, and sometimes this is the case. Often however, erection issues can be caused by more psychological and/or relational factors that are creating a block when it comes to sex. 
What we see in the media in regards to penis-ownin...
tussle •

A Beginner's Guide to Butt Stuff

Written by Taylor Neal.
 
If you’re new to the world of butt stuff, booty play, or whatever language feels good for you to use for anal stimulation and/or sex, it can feel a little intimidating to know where to begin. 
 
Your booty hole has one of the highest concentrations of nerve endings in your entire body, and with this amount of nerve endings comes the potential for equally high levels of sensation, and therefore, high levels of pleasure. 
 
Of course, with this high concentration of nerve...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality: How Do We Think About Our Bodies? — Good Vibes Clinic

Our relationship with our bodies is a complex and ever-evolving relationship that grows and fluctuates just as often as we do as we age and navigate the different phases of our lives. How we think and feel about our bodies affects how we feel about ourselves in general in many ways, as well as how we show up in relationships, and how we engage in sex and intimacy both with ourselves and with our partners. For most of us, our relationship with our bodies is one of the most difficult relationships...
Good Vibes Clinic •

You’re Not Broken: Understanding Pain During Sex —

** This article focuses primarily on the anatomy of people with vulvas, though concepts are applicable to any body, gender or anatomy.

Many of us have been taught that one of the key components of a healthy relationship is a wildly passionate, constant, problem-free sex life.

Our culture is continuously silencing and stigmatizing sex, while simultaneously over-sexualizing all aspects of romantic relationships. No matter how healthy, stable, and pleasure-filled our relationships might be, often
speed of trust •

The Tailored Dating Experience™️

Regardless of whether you prefer to use dating apps, or try your luck at meeting people IRL, the process of “dating” and getting to know people can be so activating and challenging in so many ways.

It often feels exhausting, because we’ve been told for so long that dating has to look a certain way. We’re taught that one gender or the other is supposed to be the one to ask the other out, that one gender or another has to be the one to text after a date, and if they don’t text within a certain ti
Good Vibes Clinic •

Stress In Space: How Our Environment Impacts Our Nervous System —

The good news is that we can use both our own bodily cues and our own physical spaces to support our journey. While we don’t have control over every space we find ourselves in, we do have control over some aspects of our environments. We can use what we’ve got and roll with it.

It would be naive of me to say that the key to regulating your nervous system is to always be in environments that support nervous system regulation when we need to regulate. This is simply unrealistic for many.

Primari
Momotaro Apotheca •

The Scientific Patriarchy And Its Influence On Our Bodies

**Disclaimer: I use the term “female” in reference to Lucy Cooke’s research in animal species because this is the terminology used in the book. I use “AFAB” to refer to humans with uteruses (Assigned Female At Birth) to maintain clarity in my discussions of anatomy. In no way does my terminology intend to link anatomy with gender in humans.

I shake my head as I sit down to write this article, because it’s 2024 and as a general population we still aren’t familiar with proper anatomical terms for
Bonjibon •

So, You’re Looking For a Third?

**For clarity, this article focuses on welcoming new partners into existing, established relationships between two or more people, regardless of gender, orientation, or what the relationship and/or sexual dynamics are. This is not to say I am only speaking of monogamous relationships, though this absolutely applies to monogamous couples. The concept of introducing a new person within an established multiple partner relationship is equally relevant to monogamous couples. Take what resonates for y
the joni blog •

Beneath the Surface: Menstruation, Body Dysmorphia, and Inner Healing

Over the years I have learned to love my cyclical nature. While I was taught from pubescence that having a period is a hassle, and perhaps the worst part of being a person with a uterus, I have spent many years of my adult life working to develop a loving, compassionate relationship with my menstrual cycle. Most of the time, now, I actually really love feeling connected to my cycle and the many unique, yet unifying, experiences it brings me, both in connection to my own bo
Frenchie •

Sex Toys And Relationships: Shopping Together

Once you’ve opened the floor to discuss how integrating new toys and products may feel for all partners involved, it can be a really connective next step to actually go shopping for sex toys together. Sometimes, it can be nice to keep things casual. Sex toy shopping can be as normalised as going to the grocery store together, where planning our next sexual experiences is made as casual as planning our next meal and choosing out all of the ingredients. However, it can also be nice to make a date
Momotaro Apotheca •

How To Talk Dirty: A Beginners Guide

Dirty talking is one of those funny things that many of us can usually access in a silly, joking way, but when it comes to implementing it when we’re actually trying to be sexy, we often have quite a hard time.

In the same way that it is quite common to dislike hearing a recording of our own voice, we struggle to take ourselves seriously when we try to muster up the courage to say those sexy things we have living in our heads, out loud.

Often, when it comes to dirty talking, our biggest fear i
Bonjibon •

Beginner’s Guide to Cock Rings For All Bodies

With a name like “cock ring,” you can pretty much guess what these little toys are designed for, and you wouldn’t be wrong. Cock rings may be created for use on a cock, but would you believe me if I say you really don’t need a cock to enjoy them?

If you ask me, cock rings are one of the most diverse sex toys on the market. They come in all different shapes, sizes, and functionalities, and they really can be used on all bodies, for all different types of sex.

Often when things are so literally
Frenchie •

Sex Toys And Relationships: How To Initiate The Conversation

If you’ve never explored different pleasure products with a partner, it can feel quite difficult to introduce them into this part of your sex life for many reasons.

The sex toys we choose directly correlate to our sexual desires, interests, fantasies, kinks, and many other access points to our unique pleasure. They are truly so personal, so disclosing the products we like or are curious about to our partner(s) can feel quite vulnerable. Giving someone this window into our sexual bodies and who
Momotaro Apotheca •

On Making Mornings Sacred: How To Intentionally Stop Scrolling And Ritualize The Mundane

We all have some form of morning routine, whether intentional or unintentionally.

Some of us start our day by hitting snooze 17 times and letting out a couple of groans before planting our feet on the floor. Maybe you’re a roll out of bed, throw on some clothes, and head straight to work all within 15 minutes type of person, and if it works for you then hey, it works. That quick to be up and out the door lifestyle has never been for me.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved having lots of
Bonjibon •

Navigating Distance: The Big Learnings of the LDR

I am no stranger to an LDR (long distance relationship).

Over the years, based on various unique circumstances as well as being someone who has spent the majority of my 20’s moving around quite a bit, I have found myself in long distance relationships far more often than I would have chosen.

You meet someone, and then you have to follow-through with a commitment to something else, or they move, or you never lived in the same place to begin with, or any other infinite number of possibilities ca
huha underwear •

When the Pussy Says No: On Vaginismus, Tension & Trauma

Quite often, when anything doesn’t work the way we want it to in relation to sex and our bodies, the first response we feel is an enormous amount of shame.

Whether it’s with a partner, solo, or even with a doctor, if there’s something we feel is unusual going on with our sexual body; our genitals and our ability to have the sex we feel we should be able to have, we immediately feel as though we are broken, in a different way than we do with any other part of our body.

If we sprain an ankle or
Momotaro Apotheca •

Sleepy Can Be Sexy: Sex Positions for Low Energy Days

It’s getting to be that time of year when everything feels like it slows down a little, including our bodies.

As the weather gets colder and the days get shorter, we often feel the high energy of high summer trickling away from us, to be replaced by slower, softer days of curling inward and nesting for winter to come.

While for many of us, we may feel like our most sexy selves during the spring and summer, when layers start to come off and energy rises all around us (in the same way that our f
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