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The Beltane Depression?

Here’s what I’ve noticed recently, the Beltane time is hard for people, and it’s hard because it’s not supposed to be hard, you follow? 

This time of year is full of change, death/re-birth/creation. It is the transition from the Yin half of the year into Yang - a transition from hibernation/cocooning/introspection/solitude/darkness into bloom/outward moving energy/socializing/vibrancy/creation/re-birth/light, and as we feel the air against our skin warming, we feel a call, or perhaps a pressure, to get out into the world, to be active, to socialize, to produce. we expect ourselves to feel vibrant and full and energized because the rest of the world seems to be full of life, we feel as though we SHOULD be happy! all! the! time! So when we simply are not, we judge ourselves. what’s wrong with me? Why am I not happy? It’s beautiful outside!

It feels harder to justify rest to ourselves because we no longer have the excuse of the unwelcoming weather. During the winter months it feels like we can more easily empathize with our need to stay in because the rain on the other side of our window gives us this push. When it’s bright and blooming out, it’s harder to recognize our need for rest, harder to talk ourselves into slowing down, because the rest of the world seems energized?

When we don’t feel good during this time, we experience a sort of shame toward our internal reality. anxiety about having anxiety, anxiety about not being happy, anxiety for experiencing sadness while everyone else seems to be making out in parks?

Well, as a flower blooms one petal at a time, you are not meant to emerge immediately or all at once! there is no animal in nature that simply wakes up on May 1st with a full belly and a smile and starts working and doesn’t stop until October. It’s a gradual re-orienting - it’s tender and fragile like the hatching of a chick or a baby lamb feeling sun in their eyes for the first time.

~ an infant-like innocence is visible through the translucence of our sun-starved skin, nurture the self as a child blinking their eyes open after a long nap in solitude ~

As in nature, it is okay to feel raw or disoriented. hold yourself, let the sun trickle onto your face pore by pore at your unique pace.