Shaming Softness: What's Really Happening in our Body?

Quiet, soft, solo, sweet, tender sensuality - some days you really do just wake up filled with so much love.

Right before I bleed each month, I go through an intense transformational phase with my relationship to my physical body. all of a sudden I feel extremely soft, in a way that I never used to like, in a way that I thought the world didn’t like, because our world values fit culture and hard, strong, yang energy, and as a result we all strive for “hard, strong, tight” physic. I never understood this softening feeling, like I could swear my actual body just felt like a big melting blob, and with this came heaviness and sluggishness and all the things we’re taught to feel shame around. I was never taught what was actually going on, so I thought I must be the only one that dealt with this, and therefore I must suffer alone.

Here’s the truth - our bodies actually DO soften right before our bleed. As we prepare to shed our uterine lining, everything starts to prepare for this giant release, the release of a real, physical part of us each month, and in this our organs literally physically relax, and soften! Our cervix drops down a little lower (opposite to during ovulation when she moves upward to make space for penetration), everything really gets a little heavier, everything must relax a little in order for us to physically shed. We soften, because our bodies know better than we do that taking the path of least resistance is crucial for life and nature to unfold in the way it is meant to. Our bodies know better than we do that softness is beautiful, and vital and a manifestation of strength in itself. Softness is intuitive.

We really do soften!

After learning all of this, with much adoring thanks to @stella_artuso_ I now actually feel so beautiful and feminine and sexy during these softer days. I try to use this softness occurring physically in my body to help me soften in other areas of my life. To feel sensual touching my soft belly and letting my hips guide gentle morning movement. To allow slowness and heaviness to play central roles in the way I experience the day.

To accept myself and celebrate my changing, flowing body.